Well, the real error here is actually a lack of preparation. Having sat through MANY speeches it's always easy to tell which discourses were given lots of TLC and which ones were scribbled on the hotel notepad just hours before the reception. Aside from poorly formulated thoughts, the biggest problem with these kinds of speeches is that the speaker almost always forgets to thank someone. Now, of course, this isn't the end of the world. The person you neglect to thank will, in all likelihood, completely understand and give you a pass knowing that you appreciated their help -- even if no one else knows it. Still, the guilt you'll feel for having left someone out is motivation enough.
Start working on your speech a minimum of one month before the wedding (depending on time restraints and writing ability you may need more or less time so plan accordingly). To help you work through your "thank you" list here are a few tips:
1. You don't want to drag it out too long so you can group certain people together. For example, you may send out a general thank you to the vendors who helped make your day so wonderful or to your wedding party who all equally bore the load.
2. An exception to this is if one person in the group really went above and beyond what everyone else in the group did. For example, your Maid of Honor stayed awake for 36 hours straight to help you assemble, address, stamp, and mail your invitations when you were on a tight deadline.
3. Here is a cheat list of the people you may want to include in your "thank yous":
VENDORSIt's not essential that you thank your vendors but it's a nice touch. You may mention any exceptional services you received or thank your officiant if he or she is in attendance or you might say a quick thank you to all of your vendors in general.
GUESTSYou may just thank your guests for being a part of your day. You may also thank individual guests who travelled extraordinary distances or went to great lengths to be with you on this day.
FRIENDS & FAMILYThis applies to those outside of the wedding party who helped bring your day about. Did your aunt grow special flowers in her garden for you to use in your centerpieces? Did your mother's best friend make your cake as a gift? Did your cousin sing during your ceremony?
WEDDING PARTYYour wedding party has likely put a lot into your wedding in terms of time and money. Did they throw a fantastic shower or bachelor party? Did they travel 50 miles to purchase the dress you'd picked for them? Did they spend 10 hours tying ribbons on your guest favors?
PARENTSYou can't forget about parents. You may thank your parents for their support in making this day possible. You may thank them for being wonderful parents and for helping you grow into the person you are today. You may thank your new spouse's parents for raising such a wonderful person or for welcoming you into their family with open arms.
YOUR NEW SPOUSEChances are, you and your new spouse went through lots of ups and downs during the planning process. This is normal. You may want to thank him/her for their patience, for the help, for staying out of your way while you created the day of your dreams... whatever works. You may also thank him/her for the impact he/she has had on your life.
4. Finally, what happens if, despite your best efforts, you forget to thank someone? For example, Grandma Smith went to great lengths to get her grandmother's antique hair piece to you for your "something borrowed" piece of attire but you forgot to mention it during your speech.
Chances are that you'll remember (or be reminded) before the end of the night. So you might make an announcement during the reception about the history of the lovely hair piece and dedicate a song to your grandmother as a "thank you" (perhaps the song will be her own wedding song which she and your grandfather can dance to for all of your guests to see).
Can you think of anyone else you might want to thank? Leave a comment below.
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