Common Planning Mistakes: Failing to Maintain Your Sanity

Yes! This is a BIG one. In fact, this is such a problem that I actually find myself surprised to find a bride calm in the last two weeks before her wedding (unless, of course, they're my client, teehee).

The reason? Because most of the planning materials available out there unintentionally trick couples into thinking that they've completed everything they need to by ignoring all of the little things that need to be taken care of in the final weeks. Of course, as the wedding date gets closer most brides begin to realize all of the work still left to do:

Where will the guest book table go?
Did we pick a song for our entrance?
Who will be seating Grandma Jones?
Who's moving the pillars from the ceremony to the reception?
Where are the vendors eating?
Who will take care of the card box?

The Wedding Workbook helps by bringing these all-too-often forgotten details to the foreground well in advance so you don't have to rush around sorting out the "little" details just days before the big day.

Keep your sanity!

Happy Planning!

Sophie

www.somethingblueworkbook.com

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Common Wedding Planning Mistakes: Hiring a Friend to Take Photos

This is one of the biggest and most common mistakes made by couples. The reasoning that most couples use seems to make sense; which may be why this is such a common practice. Here are the reasons typically used to justify hiring a friend or family member to take wedding photos instead of a professional:


1. Professional photographers are too expensive.
2. My friend has a great camera.
3. My friend has a great eye and takes really nice photos.
4. The wedding photos are not a big priority for us.


In a recent survey conducted by Shutterfly revealed that 22% of brides regretted not spending more on their photography. That's nearly 1 out of 4 brides! And why this pang of regret after the big day? Because when all is said and done one of the only things you'll have left of your wedding are the photos. The photos are what will help to keep the memory of your beautiful day alive for you and your guests. Given all of the money and time being invested in this one day it's important to have something wonderful (and tangible) to take away from it.



Here are my responses to the 5 reasons listed above:

1. Professional photographers are too expensive: It's true that your photos may take a big chunk out of your budget but the old adage "you get what you pay for" rings true in this instance. Besides, you can often find fantastic photographers who are just getting a start in the industry and who may be priced a bit lower as a result. In order to make sure you're getting quality work, ask to see a complete wedding album and not just one or two photos from several weddings.

2. My friend has a great camera: Camera's don't take great photos, photographers do. I have a really nice camera but I would never offer to take wedding photographs. When a pro-photographer friend of mine picked up my camera I was stunned at the shots she was able to get with it. Shots I never would have gotten because I don't have the technical know-how (or the eye for that matter). Albeit, I do get lucky now and then.

3. My friend has a great eye and takes really nice photos: Okay, so let's say that in addition to a nice camera your friend actually has some technical abilities as a shooter and takes some really nice photos. It's important to consider what kind of wedding experience this friend has. Taking photos under the pressure of a wedding (with hectic timelines and no do-overs) can be enough to put anyone off their game. You're taking a big gamble with this.

4. The wedding photos are not a big priority for us: This may be true in the moment when your focus is on getting everything together for the day but if you think past the wedding day to what will be left you may change your mind. You don't want to be the 1 out of the 4 brides mentioned in the survey above.

What do you think? Are you planning on having a friend shoot your big day? Maybe you have a reason not listed above. Or maybe you're a recent bride and you have some feedback from your own experience. I'd love to get your thoughts.

Yours,

Sophie
Something Blue: The Wedding Workbook

www.somethingblueworkbook.com

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Common Wedding Planning Mistakes: Formal Seating of Parents and Grandparents

In making the final preparations for the wedding day you're not likely to think too much about your processional... after all, that's the officiant's job, right?

Well, this is true for the most part. But most officiants are really more concerned with the flow of the ceremony itself; getting everyone down the aisle is secondary. I'll talk more about creative ways to get your wedding party down the aisle in another post but today I want to talk briefly about another step that is often overlooked; the formal seating that precedes the processional.

Before your wedding party takes their place at the alter there are some important people who should be sat only once the rest of your guests are seated. These folks include your parents and often your grandparents as well. You can also include additional people of importance who you may want to honor on the day. Keep in mind though that this portion should not be too long (no longer than one song... or more specifically, 1 to 3 minutes in length).


IN WHAT ORDER ARE THE PARENTS & GRANDPARENTS SAT?

The rule of thumb for the order in which to seat these VIPs is groom's side then bride's side categorized in reverse-order of importance -- did you get that?

Let me give you an example using the grandparents and parents for both sides:

1. Groom's paternal grandparents
2. Groom's maternal grandparents
3. Bride's paternal grandparents
4. Bride's maternal grandparents
5. Groom's parents
6. Bride's mother

The bride's mother is always sat last (assuming the father of the bride will be escorting her down the aisle). The seating of the bride's mother signals the other guests that the processional is about to begin.


WHAT IF THERE ARE STEP-PARENTS?

If there are step parents in the picture the groom's father and new wife will be sat before the groom's mother and new husband. For the bride's side, if the father is escorting the bride down the aisle the step-mother would be sat alone before the mother of the bride is sat.

If the mother of the bride is re-married she may be escorted down the aisle by her new husband or by one of the ushers/groomsmen with her husband following behind.


WHO SEATS WHO AND HOW?

Your VIP guests may be escorted down the aisle by an usher, a groomsman, or a close friend or family member (typically a male). The escort will offer the female guest his right arm and escort her to her seat. If there is a husband/date as well he will follow in behind. When the group reaches the guest's seat the escort will use his left hand to signal the guest to her place.


HONORING A DECEASED PARENT DURING THE PROCESSIONAL

If there are any deceased parents to be honored you might have the escort carry a candle or photo down the aisle and place it in the parent's seat.


OTHER SEATING TIPS

1. Don't start the formal seating until everyone else in the wedding party is ready to go... you don't want a big gap between the formal seating and the processional.

2. Assign someone to guard the door once the formal seating begins. You don't want a tardy guest strolling down the aisle in the middle of the seating/processional. Have late guests wait out of sight until the ceremony begins.

Do you have any questions or comments about formal seating during a wedding ceremony processional? Let me know!

Happy Planning!

Sophie
Something Blue: The Wedding Workbook

www.somethingblueworkbook.com

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Wedding Planning Tips: Staying Organized With The Wedding Workbook

Now that you've downloaded this fantastic tool, here are some pointers that will help you make the most of your workbook:

1. Print: Printing the workbook double-sided is best (it's less expensive and more eco-friendly).

2. Binder: Find a binder with a 2" ring or greater (you'll want room to add things as you go along). A binder with a pocket in the front and back is preferable.

3. 3-hole punch: Get your hands on a compact punch that fits right inside your binder. This will help to ensure that you're putting loose materials neatly into your binder and not simply stuffing them wherever they fit.

4. Dividers: You'll need 12. Create one divider for each step of the 10-steps listed in the planning process, one for your planning calendar, and one for your notes.

5. Post-it flags: Use these flags to quickly identify any steps or issues that need your attention ASAP.

What additional things have you done to prepare your planning workbook for the task ahead?

www.somethingblueworkbook.com

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Common Wedding Planning Mistakes: Ceremony Seating

Setting up a seating plan for your reception is pretty much a given nowadays. But have you given much thought to your ceremony seating?

Now, I'm not suggesting that you have to create an entire 150 person seating plan for your ceremony (although it has been done). I'm really thinking about those first two or three rows, the ones that are typically reserved for your immediate family. Here are some things to consider when it comes to your ceremony seating:

1. How much space do you have in your first row (or first two or three rows). Is it 5 seats? 10 seats?

2. Who will sit in these spaces? Will your wedding party occupy the front row or will they remain standing throughout the ceremony? Will your flower girl/ring bearer sit in the first couple of rows or will you send them to sit with their parents after the processional? What about siblings, grandparents, godparents, spouses?

3. How will you make sure that these spaces are filled properly? You may create a "Reserved Seating" sign. You may also give your ushers a seating guide so that they know who is supposed to sit where. It's also a good idea to let your family members know that you've reserved spaces for them so that they can introduce themselves to ushers who may not recognize them.

Keep an eye out for our "Formal Seating Procedures" post... coming soon!

www.somethingblueworkbook.com

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Wedding Planning Tips: Following Up on Emails

Here's a common scenario: you send an email to your caterer asking them to change an item on your menu. You expect the caterer to receive the email, make the change, and follow up with you to let you know that it's been done. But what if the caterer forgets? And then you forget because the caterer didn't respond to your original email? And then your wedding day comes and the item you requested to have changed hasn't been....

Yikes!

When you're planning a wedding you'll likely be sending a lot of emails and you could put reminders to yourself in your workbook or in your calendar but that can become really time consuming. Followupthen.com offers a much more efficient alternative for FREE (we LOVE free stuff!!!).

So here's the basic run-down. When you send an email to your caterer you simply cc or bcc the time interval at which you want to follow up at the email address @followupthen.com (i.e. 1week@followupthen.com).

When you put the email address in the cc field it will send a follow up note to you and everyone on your recipients list. If you enter the email address in the bcc field the reminder will only be sent to your account.

One of the many great things about this service (did we mention that it's free?) is that you can choose any time interval: 1day, 5days, 1week, 3weeks, 2months, etc. This extra step is so fast and so simple that anyone can do it.

Check out FollowUpThen.com for more info.

www.somethingblueworkbook.com

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Common Wedding Planning Mistakes: Forgetting to Thank Someone in Your Speech

Well, the real error here is actually a lack of preparation. Having sat through MANY speeches it's always easy to tell which discourses were given lots of TLC and which ones were scribbled on the hotel notepad just hours before the reception. Aside from poorly formulated thoughts, the biggest problem with these kinds of speeches is that the speaker almost always forgets to thank someone. Now, of course, this isn't the end of the world. The person you neglect to thank will, in all likelihood, completely understand and give you a pass knowing that you appreciated their help -- even if no one else knows it. Still, the guilt you'll feel for having left someone out is motivation enough.

Start working on your speech a minimum of one month before the wedding (depending on time restraints and writing ability you may need more or less time so plan accordingly). To help you work through your "thank you" list here are a few tips:

1. You don't want to drag it out too long so you can group certain people together. For example, you may send out a general thank you to the vendors who helped make your day so wonderful or to your wedding party who all equally bore the load.

2. An exception to this is if one person in the group really went above and beyond what everyone else in the group did. For example, your Maid of Honor stayed awake for 36 hours straight to help you assemble, address, stamp, and mail your invitations when you were on a tight deadline.

3. Here is a cheat list of the people you may want to include in your "thank yous":

VENDORS
It's not essential that you thank your vendors but it's a nice touch. You may mention any exceptional services you received or thank your officiant if he or she is in attendance or you might say a quick thank you to all of your vendors in general.

GUESTS
You may just thank your guests for being a part of your day. You may also thank individual guests who travelled extraordinary distances or went to great lengths to be with you on this day.

FRIENDS & FAMILY
This applies to those outside of the wedding party who helped bring your day about. Did your aunt grow special flowers in her garden for you to use in your centerpieces? Did your mother's best friend make your cake as a gift? Did your cousin sing during your ceremony?

WEDDING PARTY
Your wedding party has likely put a lot into your wedding in terms of time and money. Did they throw a fantastic shower or bachelor party? Did they travel 50 miles to purchase the dress you'd picked for them? Did they spend 10 hours tying ribbons on your guest favors?

PARENTS
You can't forget about parents. You may thank your parents for their support in making this day possible. You may thank them for being wonderful parents and for helping you grow into the person you are today. You may thank your new spouse's parents for raising such a wonderful person or for welcoming you into their family with open arms.

YOUR NEW SPOUSE
Chances are, you and your new spouse went through lots of ups and downs during the planning process. This is normal. You may want to thank him/her for their patience, for the help, for staying out of your way while you created the day of your dreams... whatever works. You may also thank him/her for the impact he/she has had on your life.

4. Finally, what happens if, despite your best efforts, you forget to thank someone? For example, Grandma Smith went to great lengths to get her grandmother's antique hair piece to you for your "something borrowed" piece of attire but you forgot to mention it during your speech.

Chances are that you'll remember (or be reminded) before the end of the night. So you might make an announcement during the reception about the history of the lovely hair piece and dedicate a song to your grandmother as a "thank you" (perhaps the song will be her own wedding song which she and your grandfather can dance to for all of your guests to see).

Can you think of anyone else you might want to thank? Leave a comment below.

www.somethingblueworkbook.com

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